1. The Way They Move
Cockroaches move in grotesquely weird, spontaneously fast and jerky motions that makes us all fear for our lives when we are the victims of that display. You may be relaxing in bed, watching South Park on your laptop, and before you know it, you spot a cockroach, across from you in bed, just staring at you.. You have experienced the wrath of cockroaches before, and you know that if you make the slightest movement, the roach with swiftly glide in your direction. Nevertheless, you decide to take that chance, and summon the gonads to get out of bed slowly.
You are aghast to see the cockroach making a spontaneously swift move towards you, and you freeze in a hunchback position, the cockroach proceeds to stop in it’s tracks. You are doing a classic face off with the cockroach; finally you jolt out of the room, with the cockroach gliding towards you, coming THIS close to devouring you. However, you survive and manage to flee your bedroom, and arrive safely to your mommy’s room in tears (you’re a grown a$$ man). Easily the most disturbing aspect of their motion is that they are so big, yet SO fast!
2. They Creepily Pop Out Of Nowhere
From the moment you spot that first cockroach in your crummy apartment, you know that you will not be safe from here on out. This renders a lot of us in a distressful abyss – They could be anywhere, under your bed, under the refrigerator, and every time they show up, they randomly jerk out of some random object. One time I nearly got a heart attack after a roach jumped out of my history book!
These creepy little hermits will even ogle on you when you’re in the shower; just imagine taking a !@#$ and all of a sudden you spot a cockroach on the floor next to you, looking at you like some kind of hobbit. Gives me the shivers…. Do yourself a favor, if you are living with roaches, carry roach spray with you at all times – you never know when one might pop out at you.
3. They Crawl Under Places You Cannot Get To
Perhaps the most dreaded part about the cockroach encounter is when that little booger swiftly crawls under your closet, or your refrigerator.. Once the cockroach finds a safe place to hind under and settles there, there is nothing you can do about it – you will have to sleep on your bed knowing that you might wake up to this repulsing hermit giving you a “good morning” stare. You might even find this little pest on the food you’re trying to enjoy.
You will not be able to sleep, eat, shower, or !@#$ so long as that creature is hiding under there. The best thing you can do in this situating is sleep at a friend’s house, just make sure his/her home is not infected with cockroaches as well. Another solution would be to spray every thing in your home, poisoning yourself in the process.
4. Some Of Them Fly – And It Is VERY Unsettling!
If you think those wings on a cockroaches back is merely for fashion, think again. Roaches have the ability to fly, and it is not like butterflies – their flight is utterly uncoordinated, they will literally glide on your face because they cannot control their motion, and when they do, both you and the cockroach will be hysterical.
I was out on my balcony once, sitting on the couch and enjoying my coffee, out of nowhere a cockroach glided right next to me; I jolted back inside as swiftly as possible, but not before the roach was flying all over the place, with me dodging it.. Perhaps the most unsettling part about their flight is the noise it creates – they are huge creatures, and when they flock their wings, they concoct a terrifying, and horrendous sound.
5. They Are Freaks
Cockroaches are perfect for the circus – If you chop off a cockroaches’ head, he will turn up alive and well for a week. Try stomping on one of those introverts, you will fall ill to the grotesque site of it moving in pieces. These disgusting pests can survive a nuclear bomb, and there’s talk that they have been around since prehistoric times.
That sounds like something out of a horror movie – at least to me it does..
6. They Live In Filth
If you think pigs live in filth, you don’t know the first thing about cockroaches. The one place you are most likely to find a cockroach is in the garbage – cockroaches live and breath filth, and there is no telling where these little hermits have crawled.
Cockroaches survive in wet environments, accompanied by expired food and greasy garbage – one who does not get repulsed by this is one who lives and breathes filth himself/herself. Given their lifestyle, cockroaches are greasy and filthy, and who the hell knows what sorts of diseases they carry with them..
7. They Breed Like Crazy
It’s not enough that they cannot be more repulsive, as soon as you get one of these in your apartment (via a plastic bag they creep into), they will lay eggs that will hatch out baby roaches that are not the least bit cute.
Once you have one roach in your home, you can rest assure you will have more, and they grow freakishly fast! That’s $200 to exterminate them..
8. They Look Like Aliens
If you ever woke up to the site of a cockroach staring at you, you may have caught a better glimpse at it’s facial features. Cockroaches have black eyes, horny antennas, a black head, a disfigured face, filthy skin, and they appear wet, as if they’re drooling.
Even aliens would be alarmed by their presence, they look more alien than them. I don’t want to know what they sound like – actually I do, they make squeaky noises in the most insidious manner. They possess a flat out nasty appearance! It is difficult for anyone to tell the difference between roaches and garbage.
9. Their Size
Most insects fall into 1 of 2 categories; they are big, but thin – eg. spiders, and they are small, but thick – eg. mommy ants.
These insects don’t scare us easily, because in either scenario, they have a measly area (length * width). But cockroaches? Forget about it.. These creatures are huge! They are both big and thick; you could actually feel it’s weight, if you dare pick it up..
10. They Are Incredibly Hard To Kill
Let’s be realistic, you don’t always carry soap and roach spray with you – it’s only natural that you’re first instinct upon encountering a cockroach would be to stomp on it.. Truth is, that’s not gonna cut it.. You could stomp on that little ball-breaker all you want, it will keep moving.
Best thing you can do in that encounter is run for your life, and prey that it will not glide towards you.
11. Urban Legends & Horrors Depicting Cockroaches
Part of our horrid manifestation on cockroaches has it’s roots in horror movies and urban legends convincing us that they will eat out you’re eye lids and crawl out of you’re nose. It’s not enough that they are freaky and grotesque, we had these horror scenes shoved down our throats – Now we will forever have nightmares about a cockroach apocalypse.
To be frank, after seeing killer cockroaches in action, I’d rather live through a zombie apocalypse..