8. One Vicious Sandwich
Archduke Franz Ferdinand was a member of the imperial Habsburg dynasty. He had a bounty on his a$$. I’m not gonna bore you guys with stupid history $h!t, I just wanna make sure that you understand this man was so significant, that assassins were preying on his gonads.
A man by the name of Gavrilo Princip was hired to assassinate Ferdinand; and had already made his first lousy attempt. Princip threw a grenade on Ferdinand’s motorcade, and epicly missed, hitting another car; Ferdinand fled to the hospital with the schnook who took his hit. Princip decided that his phenomenal performance entitled him to a well deserved lunch break, so he headed out to a deli and bought himself a sandwich. To his surprise, Ferdinand, for some foolish reason, stopped his car right outside the deli; Princip ran outside and gunned Ferdinand to oblivion, showering him with bullets and rendering him dead at the scene.
The Butterfly Effect
The hilariously executed assassination of Ferdinand led to animus international conflicts, which in turn led to the harrowing events of World War I. Had Princip have been a competent assassin, and went out to search for the fleeing Ferdinand, instead of getting himself a sandwich after a failed assassination attempt, Ferdinand would have lived on, the world would have avoided bitter conflicts, and WWI would have never been in your 3rd grade history books.